From Beneath You It Devours
by B.B Lewis
There are no words to describe the pleasant glow you feel emanating from inside you after a long strenuous session of fucking. There is nothing quite like it in this world. Now I know you are probably cringing at the terminology I just used there, but you need to understand one thing. I don’t do ‘love making’. I fuck and I fuck hard. I’m not into all that namby pamby, lovey dovey bullshit. At least I wasn’t, until I met Adam Carter. There was just something different about him. He was calculating, smart and ruthless, all things I hold in high regard when it comes to choosing a mate. He was one of the most enigmatic men I had ever come across and at first it was only sex. We would compete in the bedroom and in our jobs, which only lead to some of the most memorable nights of my life. We would talk for hours about the jobs we had pulled off in the past, the most imaginative hits we had completed on some of the world’s most hated men. Everything was perfect until one revelation came to light.
He was married.
“And you didn’t think to mention this before jumping into bed with me?!” Anger radiated from inside of me. He covered himself with the sheet and sat up. He knew that this wasn’t just going to go away. He also knew that he had fucked up.
“Calm down Alexa, let’s talk about this” He should have known me by now, that wasn’t an option. I had just found his wedding ring after it fell from his trouser pocket, while I was looking for my Victoria secret underwear id bought especially for this occasion.
“Calm down? Calm down? You have just so kindly informed me after 4 months of fucking, that you are married, and you want me to calm down?!” I threw a rather expensive looking-glass vase in his direction. It shattered against the wall where his head had been only a fraction of a second earlier, sending shards of beautifully coloured glass ricocheting in every direction.
“What the fuck Alexa, you’re going too far now! What does it matter whether I am married or not?! This was strictly a physical arrangement. You don’t even pay for the fucking hotel rooms, or the damage to them I might add”. He had his leg half way into his trousers before I even knew what was happening. If I could have stopped myself I would have, I swear to you I would have. I didn’t even know that I felt that way until the words fell out of my mouth like verbal diarrhoea.
“Because I fucking love you Adam!” What just happened, what the hell did I just say?
“Whoa, wait what?” Adam had one arm in his white Ralph Lauren shirt; his glorious bare chest was still shimmering from the sweat we had worked up from our sex session. His Levi jeans were on but unbuttoned showing only the top of his Calvin Klein Boxers. Jesus he was gorgeous.
It was in that moment that I knew everything had changed. It was no longer an issue that he was married. All that mattered now was the fact I had just opened my big mouth and said that I loved him. I could see the change instantly in his eyes. He couldn’t wait to get out of there. I had broken the one and only unwritten rule.
Never fall in love.
“Alexa, erm, I mean you know I think you a great girl but I’m just not in that place. It’s not you it’s me. I thought this was just a bit of fun for the both of us?” The rest of his dressing regime was fast in motion. He was doing everything he could to get out of the room as quick as he could. Typical.
“A great girl? I didn’t intend to fall in love with you Adam, that was the last thing I wanted but it happened and I thought you had feelings for me to.” I could feel a sea of tears welling up against the inside of my eyes just waiting for their chance to race down my flushed cheeks. How dare he use that over played cliché on me?
It’s not you, it’s me.
“I’m sorry Alexa but I love my wife. I have to go” and with that he picked up the last of his things and left the room. He didn’t even have the decency to look behind him at who he was walking away from. He had made his choice.
You know what, as I sat down on the end of the bed and tears began to roll down my face, collecting in little pools in my lap, I was so angry. I was angry at everything, myself, Adam, these stupid tears. How I could I let myself fall in love. I didn’t even know what love was really. That’s partly why I was so good at my job. Being cold-hearted and detached are desirable traits in my line of work as a contract killer. Now I was sitting in a lavish hotel room, as naked as the day I was born, crying like a little girl. In fact, I haven’t cried since I was a little girl, it isn’t my style. I never let anyone close enough to me to affect me enough to want to cry. I loathed myself and that had never happened before either. How dare he just walk out on me as if I meant nothing? I was not about to let Adam Carter get away with this. Nobody broke my heart in two and just walked away, nobody.
Frank Agostelli was a small time schmuck from the bad part of town. He was nothing special to look at but my god did he know how to fuck. If he hadn’t been bragging about his prowess in the bedroom I wouldn’t have touched him with a barge poll. He’s nothing special to look at either and dressed like a 1970’s throwback. I only did it to see if he was a lying sack of shit. Turns out he wasn’t lying. Go figure.
He had always had a crush on me and he made no secret of it. He was a soppy Italian sleaze ball who would have done anything for me. That was the Italian way apparently. They look after their ladies. It didn’t seem to register with him that I wouldn’t be seen dead in a public place with him, that we would never be a typical conventional couple. I was never his lady but he didn’t want to rock the boat. I would get what I needed from him and that was enough.
“I saw that no talent Pompinara Adam Carter walking his dogs in the park with his wife and kids the other day. How that idiot ever got a wife to stick with him I will never know. All of the other ladies on the side. There is no way she doesn’t know about them” Frank was puffing on a lucky strike cigarette while walking around the motel room in his slacks, a stained wife beater vest and braces. He looked like a typical Italian mobster from the old mobster films. How had I stooped this low? He couldn’t even afford a decent hotel room. Stray dogs had been known to stay in nicer places. He must have seen a flash of something in my eyes because he pounced on it instantly.
“What? What is it?” He was looking at me like a wounded puppy. I hated it. I’m not fond of sympathy, let alone from someone I think is beneath me. That was just like hitting rock bottom. I will never go back to rock bottom. Not if I have anything to do with it.
“Nothing Frank, just leave it” I turned my back on him and starting putting everything back into my handbag. Things could get pretty athletic when we were together.
“Like fuck I’m going to leave it. What was that look?” Frank was like a dog with a bone once he got a bee in his bonnet. Another thing I despise about Frank. He never knew when to let sleeping dogs lie. Lucky for me, that was something that worked in my favour.
“It’s nothing Frank ok, I just have a bad history with Adam Carter and I would rather not talk about it.” Frank walked over, stubbed his cigarette out in the heavy glass ashtray, filled to the brim with yellowing cigarette butts and held my shoulders.
“Look Baby doll, I want to know what happened. Did that bastard do something to you?” It’s funny really because you could really hear the concern in his voice. Did he really think I was that vulnerable?
My eyes began to well up again and I was getting that intense aching in my throat that said if you don’t let it out soon you’re going to explode. Finally, I lost the battle. I began to cry, I was crying so hard that I never thought I would stop. Frank was as shocked as anyone and frantically tried to calm me down, wrapping me in his hairy arms and soothing me like a child.
“It’s ok baby, calm down, it’s ok” I really wish people would stop telling me to calm down. It never ends well for them.
“He raped me” There, it was done.
Frank was momentarily shocked into silence and then his temper unleashed itself like a nest of angry wasps.
Did he really think I was that vulnerable?
Frank didn’t need me to say another word. He put his shirt on, picked up his smith and Wesson pistol from the dresser and left the room. I knew where he was heading. I wiped the tears from my eyes and got dressed. I didn’t have much time and I had a quick detour to make.
As I sat in the cab opposite ‘Lil Joe’s Meatball Palace’, I took a disposable mobile out of my hold all and dialled.
“Yes hello, I would like to report a murder….at Joe’s Meatball Palace on 3rd and Park….” I hung up and threw the mobile out of the window.
“To Newark Airport please” The cabbie just nodded to me in the rear view mirror as he pulled away from the curb. I laid my head back on the heat rest and relaxed. Finally, I was free of them both. Unfortunately for Frank, he wasn’t smart enough to figure out when he was getting played. Or maybe he was but he was too blinded by love. Love makes you weak, it makes you vulnerable, it makes you blinded. I knew Frank was going to kill Adam; my only regret is that I wasn’t going to be around to see it. Frank was never the sharpest tool in the toolbox but he knew how to get a job done. With the Police also on their way, Adam would be dead and Frank would be taking the wrap for it. Perfection personified. I on the other hand will be sipping Meitei’s in Tahiti in about 5 hours once my plane takes off. I haven’t felt this relaxed and peaceful in a long time. I have even treated myself to some ‘pass the time’ shopping in duty-free.
The funny thing is, they were both completely different and if they had just left me alone, they would be continuing on with their pathetic, lacklustre lives. Who knows, maybe if things were different, if it was a different time, if I was different, things could have worked out differently. The only thing the two of them had in common was the fact they liked to be on top. They liked to have complete control. They were never in control from the start. For me now, I raise my glass and smile.
From beneath you it devours